The Doubting Thomas in All of Us

 

The Doubting Thomas in All of Us

Today is the Feast Day of St. Thomas, one of the Twelve Apostles. His great claim to fame, or perhaps infamy, through the passage of time has been the designation of being the disciple who doubted that Jesus had rose from the dead until he saw the resurrected Christ himself. Thus, he is most often referred to as “Thomas the Doubter.” From that nickname has come the term “Doubting Thomas” which is popular to use in common culture, especially of anyone who is struggling with their faith or with certain elements or teachings of the Christian faith. Here is the account from St. John’s Gospel:

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But Thomas said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

It is easy to read over the above account and accuse Thomas of being weak in faith. I hear it applied all the time. People will say things like, “Don’t be a Doubting Thomas.” What is often missed is the larger picture of Thomas’ life, such as when Jesus was leaving to visit Lazarus and Thomas exclaimed, “We will go to die with you!” Or the historical reality that later in his life Thomas had a reputation as a powerful evangelist, traveling to India in 52 AD to bring the Gospel message there. To this day, the community in India known as St. Thomas Christians still exists, tracing their roots back to the founding of several churches there from the apostle himself. However, the greatest testimony to Thomas’ life is that he died a martyr for his faith in Jesus Christ. He was pierced by spears in 72 AD by soldiers for spreading the Gospel in India. So great was his love for God and conviction in his beliefs that he willingly went to his martyrdom for it, sacrificing his life for the cause of Christ and the spreading of the Good News.

Looking at the whole span of his life, we see Thomas as an individual very much like all of us. At times, we are very strong in our convictions for what we believe and in whom we believe. Other times, we have moments where we temporarily falter a bit. How often have we professed to give our lives and hearts to God, only to then some time after fade away a bit and lose steam? It happens to all of us. Thomas had a moment of doubt because his despair was so great at the news of Jesus being crucified. However, once encountering the risen Christ with his own eyes, his life was forever altered, to the point of laboring for the Gospel and then dying as a martyr in India. We may not see Jesus physically in the flesh, but he nevertheless is present to us sacramentally and spiritually and mystically. He makes his presence known to our hearts and souls constantly in numerous different ways. And yet, we continue to experience continual or prolonged periods of doubt. I know I have. It is the human part of us to go through these droughts. Thomas’ life, far from being a testimony of just an episode of momentary doubt, rather teaches us that these episodes happen in the life of every disciple at different points and stages on the journey.

The challenge for us is what we do with our moments of doubt, and where do we choose to go? For Thomas, he chose to labor hard and to preach and witness with his words and actions. For Thomas, he chose to carry his cross and follow in the footsteps of his Lord, which was the trail of thorns and nails. For Thomas, he chose to trust in Divine Providence which led him to his martyrdom and to eternal glory. He is not primarily Thomas the Doubter. He is Thomas who triumphed victoriously in spite of fleeting doubt. He is Thomas, Apostle and Martyr. And there is a little bit of him in us all. We are all prone to moments of doubt, and we are just as prone to encounters with Christ and lives which are transformed by his grace.

We so often hear, “I will believe it when I see it!” Often times, we say things like this ourselves. However, worldly wisdom rarely connects with Christian spirituality. You don’t see in order to believe. You begin to truly see once you believe. And one final thought- notice the gentle approach Jesus takes to Thomas in his fleeting episode of doubt. Jesus offers all of us this gentle approach in our moments as well, and calls us to be his example to those around us who struggle at times. May St. Thomas pray for us to imitate his example of moving past doubt to overwhelmingly trust in God.

Truly, Madly, Deeply: The Sacred Heart Devotion, and Finding God Where You Least Expect

Five years ago, my wife and I encountered a devotion known as Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary, otherwise known as the Holy Slavery. It was a beautiful and rich discovery for us, and has stayed with us ever since. People who know my wife have asked why she continues to wear a veil every time she enters a building where the Eucharist is present; why she always wears a Scapular; and why she has an iron chain wrapped around her ankle. And why we always stay a couple minutes after Mass has finished praying three Hail Mary’s. The reasons for all these root back to our discovery of this devotion, which originated theologically by St. Louis de Montfort in the late 17th to early 18th century.

The Holy Slavery to Jesus in Mary changed the course of our life, our marriage, our worldview, and our spirituality. However, even so, it ultimately is a means to an end. The end is devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The goal is intimate union with Jesus.

Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus truly changed our entire life and turned our world upside down. I remember when family and friends asked why we were spending our evenings eating dinners on dark street corners with homeless people, or our Friday nights in quiet Adoration chapels in front of a tabernacle. The devotion to the Sacred Heart changed everything for us; our entire outlook and purpose as to who we are, why we are here, where we were going, and how we viewed the world around us. Actually, to this day, whenever asked by overly zealous Christians if I have a “personal relationship with Jesus,” I always see it as an open window to discuss this particular devotion.

Four years ago, I wrote: “Whenever people ask us about our spirituality and where it ultimately stems from, we always point them back to this devotion… To be devoted to Jesus’ Sacred Heart means, in short, to be one with his heart. To love what he loves; to oppose what he opposes; to suffer with him; to rejoice with him; to look into his soul and ask of him- What most pleases you? What most brings you pain? What can I do to show my love for you?” To this day, that statement still accurately reflects for me what the devotion consists of, and why everything filters through it.

One aspect that is central to us, as a result of the worldview which this devotion provided, was how we answer the question: Where can one find Jesus in the world today? Where can we encounter his heart now? While we believe he truly lived and is no longer physically with us anymore, we also hold to one of his statements towards the end of his time here, which was, “I am with you always, even to the end…”

June 7th marks the holiday celebration for the Sacred Heart devotion on the Catholic calendar. When I text messaged my wife and said, “Happy Feast Day of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,” she wrote back immediately and said, “Let’s go to Eucharistic Adoration tonight.” I responded and wrote, “Yes… and let’s get dinner for a homeless person. Jesus is there, too.”

We continue to believe that Jesus is sacramentally present in the Eucharist, in a very special and unique way. To people who do not know much about the particular way Catholic Christians think, the Eucharist is the true body, blood, and soul of Jesus miraculously hidden under the outward appearance of bread and wine. We trace this belief back to our literal understanding and interpretation of the Last Supper, with Jesus taking mere bread and wine and saying, “This is my body… this is my blood.” A sacrament is a physical, material object which we believe contains the life-giving power of God. So for us, a sacramental presence of Jesus means he is truly present to us, even if invisibly to our fleshly eyes. When we are in the presence of the Eucharist, we are truly in his actual presence, and have the capability to tap into his peace, compassion, and love. It provides us the most serene and meditative way to delve into the heart of Jesus.

We also continue to believe that Jesus is mystically present in the suffering, the despairing, and the outcast of our society. It is also a very special and unique presence, but is nevertheless just as real to us. This is gained from a statement he made in a parable, in which he said if we fed the hungry and gave a drink to the thirsty, that we were truly doing this for him. Jesus associated himself with the weakest and unnoticed and forgotten and despised of the world. It was radical notions like this which inspired whole movements and changed the world, such as Mother Teresa’s Sisters of Charity and the entire Franciscan movement from Francis of Assisi. It was this notion that led my wife and me to seek out the heart of Jesus in his hidden presence among the homeless on our streets.

The devotion to the Sacred Heart continues to be a driving force behind the way we understand and experience this life, and how and why we approach others around us.

However, it is not just about where we go to find Jesus. It is just as much about the lengths that Jesus will go to discover our hearts, as well, and to unite them with his. So that we may love what he loves, see what he sees, feel what he feels, and that the passion and the flame of self-sacrificial, healing, restorative love can be ignited for us and the world around us.

Where will you find the heart of Jesus and hear it beating? How can the life and soul of Jesus heal, nourish, and restore your broken and tired heart today?

“From now on, I myself am the shepherd. I’m going looking for them. As shepherds go after their flocks when they get scattered, I’m going after my sheep. I’ll rescue them from all the places they’ve been scattered to in the storms… I’ll go after the lost, I’ll collect the strays, I’ll doctor the injured, I’ll build up the weak ones and oversee the strong ones so they’re not exploited.” –Ezekiel 34

The Pharisees and religion scholars were not pleased, not at all pleased. They growled, “He takes in sinners and eats meals with them, treating them like old friends.” Their grumbling triggered this story. “Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one. Wouldn’t you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Celebrate with me! I’ve found my lost sheep!’ Count on it—there’s more joy in heaven over one sinner’s rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue.” –Luke 15